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Everyday is a fruitless task, they all pass just the same.
Enough was enough.
Read what I put here, it'll be my whole life story. But I'm not one to hide anything. If you don't want to know me, you won't read.
2 months ago, I was a cutter. But more than that I was bipolar, clingy, scared, fragile, cleptomaniac and not to mention literally dieing of anorexia. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. And somebody rolled that rock away and set me free. I'm Caitlin Gregorich, I may have dyed my hair, gained weight, and put new holes in my face, but I've changed so much more than that. Rehab wasn't the solution. Neither was counseling. What possesed me to keep living? The fact that this boy said this to me, 2 months ago: Elliyott: "Caitlin I want you to live long and healthily, because I promised I would marry you. Whether here, or beyond here. Therefore I would follow you after your heart stopped beating. And with you being sick, I see that happening very soon. I don't want to die, neither does the girl I know thats still inside of you sweetheart. I'm willing to help you, if your willing to take my hand and get out of this 'life sucks' phase. Because nobody has a perfect life, but that doesn't mean everyone is in a slump about it. Come on, I'm gonna make yours better." Now I'm not taken by this boy. Because quite frankly I'd rather be alone. Less hurt, less things to worry about, one less mouth to feed in the apartment I'll be moving into. But I do believe that one guy may be out there. And even if Elliyott turns out to be that guy, I won't know until the feelings he has for me reflect themselves into my heart. So after all the changing and optimism and reality, I find myself able to be just that; myself. When I buy weed that turns out to just be a bag of parsley, I whip up some kickass herb sphagetti sauce.
Doogal baby, I will always miss you♥ RIP, 2-15-99 ~ 5-21-10 Elliyott Tolzman My part-time lover and full-time friend. He turned my life around for the better and hey, I don't mind at all. If I hadn't went back to public school I'd probably be dead by now; quite literally. Even when we argue, I'm thankful to have him in my life. It's the way he talks to me, the way he smiles shyly, the way he sees right through me, the way the words "I trust you" can flow right out of me without a hesitation whenever I say it to him. As much as I really dislike having a boyfriend, he seems to be wrapped double-knottedly around my finger. And I'm digging it
So anyway, let's be friends. Because I make a kickass loyal honest smart best friend. And I guarantee I won't dissapoint you or bore you away. This is Caitlin signing off from Pasadena, Cali. To whoever, wherever, whenever. Have a nice day♥
